Saturday, June 29, 2013

Figure It Out

There are people in this world that might not want to help you. Either they already told you how to do something and you didn't take precise notes, or you forgot, or maybe they are your enemies that you never said anything bad about, but they still wouldn't spit on you if you were on fire.

The former probably tells you "Figure it out!" as a form of "tough love." Maybe they are preparing you for the next twenty years of forced independence. The latter will gleefully tell you to figure something out if you were dangling from a cliff.

TOUGH LOVE SCENARIO:
Father tells you how to calculate the method of raising or moving a parabola, or how to use Excel to find out the physical, emotional and intellectual cycles of your life. You remember half of it - how to calculate how many days you lived, and how to measure what day you are in each cycle - but not how to extend it so that you know the precise movements of the cycles through the positive and negative axis's. Father tells you to figure it out, because he told you once already.

ENEMY REVENGE SCENARIO:
When you're out walking along a nature hike and your enemy catches up to you. You are trying to tune out their insults.
Enemy: What do you call that hairstyle, Manure Updo? Oh, and by the way, I wouldn't walk there. It's a long drop.
You: Hmm? *falls and hangs onto cliff edge by fingertips* Oh no! Gahh! HELP!
Enemy: *cackles* Figure something out!

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