What I "Dislike" In People

Yeah, I know. The title is reminiscent of an annoyed-by-all-teenager. But it's what I am going to say. Remember my last post about how much I hate condescending people? And I mentioned that I also hate pompousness, for example? Yes, well, here is a list of all the qualities (or behaviours) that I hate in other people. In no particular order.

1. When they're condescending. I may need to recap this, as I might not have explained it too well last time; maybe a summary would be good. Condescending can be detected in three ways. A) If they speak to you in a slightly higher pitch than they do to other people, B) If they act as though you need to be humoured (like a five-year-old!) and C) if they don't take you seriously. This behaviour is mostly reserved for the way adults treat children ( ... "Now, sweetie" ... "You'll understand when you're older" ... "Well, I don't expect you to understand" ... ) but can also be seen in adults as well. It's rarer, though. I especially hate it when you tell them something, and they say "That's nice." Like they're indulging us by agreeing with us about something we like. Not that this has ever happened to me, but I can imagine it, and am constantly on the guard for it. I would rather an adult said "That's horrible! What were you thinking?" than use that cloying, sweet voice.

2. Pompousness (a.k.a. self-importance). E.g. Percy Weasley. E.g. Steven Mahoney. My mother told me about this telemarketing message Mahoney (ha, even the name makes me think of falseness) had left on our answering machine. He'd basically bragged about his connections and experience in politics and had said something like "My opponent is attempting to deface my past political record, but that's just because she doesn't have one of her own."

(By the way, Bonnie Crombie's telemarketing message had been nothing like that. And what does it say about her (and Steven Mahoney, for that matter) when Hazel McCallion took sides in the election, making it a rare occasion? She had said before that she would only take sides in an election if she felt that a contestant would make a much greater contribution to Mississauga, or if a contestant would be a much more negative influence on Mississauga. Well, well, well.)

Anyway, back on track: self-importance! I think we can all agree that people who take themselves so seriously - shaking-hands, "I'll-Check-My-Schedule", "As You Know, I Know Very Important People" seriously - greatly annoying. I think the British term would be "prat". It sums up a lot of things, actually.

3. The "Awkward" enforcers. I hate it when people act like a situation is awkward - by their tone of voice, by their sign language, what they say - and thereby make it awkward. You know the one - someone says something remotely up-for-interpretation (e.g. "I like apples") and the person dramatically freezes up and looks at you with wide eyes and an Oh-No-You-Didn't smile.

This may also apply to situations where they a) are introduced to other people (in which case, the whole GROUP may act awkward), b) around someone who doesn't act the way they do. In which case - it's just a very subtle, passive-aggressive, and intuitive (the different someone would probably pick up on the awkwardness by intuition) form of exclusion.

Also: elevator awkwardness. I may say something to the people occupying it, and they give a "Thanks, but no thanks" polite smile and remain silent. It's really not that hard to make idle conversation, as long as it's only a short while. I like people who can be pleasant and relaxed among elevator strangers. Just make the best of the temporary confinement! At least it's temporary!

4. The Swear-A-Lots. I can get along with these people just fine, but come on. Really? You have to use the coarse language all the time? There's using swear words once in a while, and then there's vulgarity. If you use swear words ALL THE TIME, they lose they effect - kind of like getting used to drugs, or to something new. They don't mean anything anymore.

5. Those who DON'T TRY in projects. I mostly get this in drama class, where many boys were put against their will. Do you know how IRRITATING it is to work with the boys that fool around and be silly and have to be DRAGGED to practice, the ones that don't really make an effort? UGH! And being the one trying to convince them to practice the performance, I always feel like the bad guy, the control freak. But someone has to do it.

Have you non-existent readers noticed any of these things? Any behavioural peeves of your own?

Condescending People

There is one thing that I hate in adults above all else - especially teachers. It's not superiority. It's not torrid amounts of homework and other expectations. It's not even pompousness (though that is a close second. Self-importance makes me want to spit).

It's condescension.

When you meet an adult, you can tell right away what kind of an adult they are by the way they treat you. If they treat you as an almost-equal, like most normal teachers, who have expectations of you and will not be pitiful if you do not submit your homework on time, then they are respectable adults - at least, they would have your respect.

If they smile a lot and talk to you in a cloying, sweet voice, if they give you super-easy things to do and say "Gooooooood!" when you reach their expectations - they are condescending and I would have just as much respect for them as I would for a spider.

Which is to say - enough to restrain myself from doing what I want to do, but not much.

 If I am treated condescendingly, like a little kid that needs to be humoured, then I will not restrain myself in the slightest in giving them a piece of my mind. Or, at least, I wouldn't restrain myself if I could get away with it and not be assailed by all the respectable adults around me. Which, if you have failed to guess - I can't. Never could.

So why this sudden interest in bashing the condescending adults?

Today for jazz class we had a substitute teacher - a ballet teacher standing in for our jazz teacher. And she was horrible. She made us GALLOP IN A CIRCLE! Like three-year-olds! She did some sort of hip shake for a warm up - and the whole "Look up, look straight ahead, look down. Repeat. Look to the right. Look straight ahead. Look to the left. Repeat" neck exercise. Ridiculous! And then - much too soon - she made us do the splits! With hardly any preparation at all! I didn't even try, knowing I would probably bust something without the proper exercises.

I was steaming with negative thoughts by the end of the class, with unused sarcasm and biting words that social normality would bid me not to use. When I went to sleep, I was still imagining using a bit of the Teenager Attitude that, like a kindergarten teacher, she would defend herself against with more condescension and raised eyebrows and a pouty voice. "Now, now, is that any way to speak to me? What will your mother say when she comes to pick you up? Hmmmm?"

Gah.

Actually, this brings up something interesting I saw the other day. I was walking down a locker hallway and up a set of stairs when an adult - a hallway supervisor, I think - and two teenage girls came down the hallway. It went a little something like this:

Supervisor: [coming closer] . . . asked you nicely, but you didn't do as I asked! Now, come this way. [leaning towards stairs.]

Girl #1: [heads further down hallway, against Supervisor's wishes.]

Supervisor: [sounding scandalised] Excuse me? Excuse me? [Obviously trying to retain control as the girl walks farther down the hallway] All right, let's go to the office. [Laying on the superiority.] Excuse me, what's your name . . . ?

I wonder if that girl got away, or if the pressure eventually made her stop and face the You'll Be Sorry You Assumed I Was Just A Lowly Hallway Supervisor, I Know Your Superiors! wrath of the hallway supervisor? It would have been worse the more she'd resisted that adult, but if she'd got away, she may have had temporary relief from the authorities - a rare feeling.

I wonder if she'd started running, in the name of getting away with it, or if she'd continued with the restrained walking, in the name of keeping her dignity and her temporary upper hand over the supervisor?

Stick around for Part Two: What I Hate In People. Other behaviours, like being condescending, that make me want to hit something.